Self-pity

If I want people to read my blog, and I do, then perhaps the title should be something a bit happier, more inviting. But I feel like having a pity-party right now and felt the title is appropriate.

I just don't get it. I have tried my entire life to be a good person, to be kind to everyone I cross paths with, and yet I have very few friends. I get taken advantage of. I wake up one day with fantasies of better things to come and feeling the exact opposite the next. I feel alone. Misunderstood. Unimportant. Disrespected. I am told I don't talk enough and that I don't express what I want. But then when I do, it isn't respected. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. I know I need to start living my life the way I want it to be, but I just don't know how. I don't know how.

BITCHIEST SURVIVOR BLOG EVER!

I know I said I wasn't going to blog about Survivor this season. I never did get around to blogging about the finale of last season. But when I first heard about the whole Rob vs. Russell idea, I found it to be ludicrous. Honestly. This is Rob's fourth time playing the game of Survivor and Russell's third. How many times do we need to bring any of these past players back?! Enough with the overkill already!

Another reason I found this concept to be ridiculous is because I knew without a doubt that this whole season was going to be purposely set up to make Rob out to be the king of Survivor and Russell the dumb ass. After watching tonight's episode, I know I am right. I knew that Russell was going to be targeted from the very start based only on America's perception of him. Everyone sees Russell as the biggest asshole on the planet and there is a reason for that. He brought that on himself. I am a Russell fan and even I can recognize that. But here is something to think about: Let's pretend Stephenie LaGrossa came back to play the game and she was no longer God's gift to America, but instead she was a female version of Russell. She was rude, mean, obnoxious, everything that Russell is right now. I know (and so do the rest of you) that everyone would be bowing down to her, and she would quite possibly win, or at the very least get to the end. Why? Because she is Stephenie. America loves her and her chances of winning would increase just for that reason. She hasn't always been nice and yet everyone thinks she is the greatest thing since sliced bread! And anyone who disagrees with that is not being truthful.

I was (and honestly still am) livid after witnessing tonight's episode. Did that tribe of idiots really outwit, outplay and outlast Russell? They did indeed outlast him. However, that isn't much of a feat if you ask me. Dan outlast quite a few more worthy players in Nicaragua, but that doesn't mean he would have been worthy to claim the title of sole Survivor. Did the tribe outwit Russell? Um, once again, no they did not. He knew very well they threw the challenge! Did they outplay him? Um, They had to LOSE and purposely suck in order to get rid of him!

I cannot believe all of these knuckleheads that go on Survivor and apparently think it is going to be a vacation in the Bahamas. They are out there playing for one million dollars. God forbid they should have to deal with someone annoying! Oh no! I have heard people say Russell is annoying, Russell is mean and rude, etc. Who the hell cares?! You people sound like you want a bunch of mute Purple Kelly clones walking around! Shut up already! I say if you want to earn that million dollars then suck it all up, for cryin' out loud! I would think trying your very best in all challenges and THEN kicking Russell's ass would be much more rewarding instead of taking the lazy way out!

What are these so-called competition shows coming to anyway?! The first episode of Amazing Race pissed me off as well. Half of those damn teams made it farther in the game without even having to complete the damn quote! I wish I was running that show. I would've made them all go back and solve it! Absolutely ridiculous! Sorry, but I think before you brag to the world that you played such a terrific game you need to make sure you played hard and to the best of your ability and not go at it half-assed. Example: It grates on my nerves watching people play Super Mario Bros. and take every single warp zone they can find, then brag how they have the game mastered. Um, you sure as hell do not! Play the game in it's entirety with NO warp zones and then when you are staring the princess in the eye, then we will talk!

I do still love Survivor, and even though it greatly upset me tonight, I do have to say that I liked the gray-haired dude (Steve, I think?) lying to Russell about who is on Redemption Island. Now THAT is playing the game!

Aside from this particular episode, I am expecting great things from this season. I just hope it doesn't disappoint me by being an actual Rob/Russell ending because I know without a doubt that it will purposely be set up for Rob to win, possibly a "who can be the nicest" dual or something.

I hope everyone is enjoying the show so far. Is it just me or could Julie pass for Scout's twin?!

(Wow, this blog wasn't as bitchy as I thought it would be!)

"The Wrath Of Jane"

It seems like just yesterday that Survivor Nicaragua began. Some very interesting players were brought into our homes each week along with drama, laughter, and some downright incredible behavior. It has yet again been a delightful season to watch and I am sad that one more chapter in Survivor history will soon be complete. Today is the eve of the finale, and I have to say I am happy with the final 5 standing, even though a few of them would be disappointing winners for me.

It goes without saying that I am rooting for Holly to win. A dream came true for me this season. I may have met Rupert a few years ago, but that is as far as that went. Holly, however, has become a personal friend of mine. I can call or text her anytime I want to. Heck, I can even invite her over for coffee if I feel like it. Out of the hundreds of people who have played this game, I couldn't have asked for a better Survivor friend. And no matter what she wins, even if it's nothing, I will still be honored to call her my friend long after this is over.

This latest episode was the family episode. It was so touching it brought me to tears. Charlie looked amazing on television! He, like his wife, is a wonderful person to know in real life. He is friendly and funny. I wish all of them could've spent more time with their loved ones.

Jane is quite the spitfire! She was livid upon finding out she was being voted out by those who had promised to take her to the final. Others may not agree, but I absolutely loved her putting the fire out. Go out with a bang, I say.

Tribal Council was, well, Tribal Council. Jane definitely spoke her mind. She basically called my friend a thief for taking Dan's shoes at the beginning of the season. But the part about Tribal that really blew my mind is that Jeff basically told them how they should vote, but yet Dan, Jane and Fabio didn't do it! Now remember, I want Holly to win and was relieved they didn't vote her out, but honestly what Jeff said made sense. He told them how to vote and they didn't. I guess neither of those three really want to win that badly after all.

I loved the photos taken at the reward. Holly, Chase and Sash obviously had a good time with it!

The finale is tomorrow night. I can hardly wait!

"Kelly-Nay, 'cause they're both chicken"

"Survivors ready....go!" America was blessed with another great episode of Survivor this past Wednesday night. This season is quickly coming to an end, and I am very happy with the last few people standing. I can honestly say that overall I like each one of them for different reasons (okay a few of them I like only slightly), and I am confident that I will be happy with the outcome at the finale.

The reward challenge for this episode was a second chance challenge, and Chase rocked it! He looked as though he had been practicing for it for a week straight! Afterwards, when Jeff told him he could take two people with him, he graciously took Holly, and she deserved it after what happened the previous week. He also took Jane, and Sash did not like that. Not one bit. He was under the impression Chase would take him on the reward.

And the reward was great. They were able to shower and eat some decent food. Chase admitted to Holly that he made a mistake taking Jane with, and Holly agreed with him.

Jane on this particular episode really reminded me of Jan from Thailand. I remember her crying over a dead bird, and now we have Jane doing it. I think it is taken a bit too far though when these ladies start making memorials for the dead animals.

The immunity challenge was an intense one, and we found out that Jane was once a cheerleader. She was cheering everyone on, but Fabio didn't appreciate it. He mumbled, "Shut up," under his breath while trying to concentrate on his puzzle.

I loved Jeff calling out the losers as they walked into Tribal Council. I am glad he did it and I hope he continues doing it. They need to be reminded that they are lucky to be sitting up there with people like Brenda, Alina and Marty who are far from quitters.

Only one more episode until the incredible finale! I cannot wait to see how this season ends. I just know in my heart that my friend Holly will walk away with a title of some sort. And she truly deserves it!

"There is nothing left for me to suck"

It seems like an eternity since my last blog, but I didn't do one last week for the simple fact it was the recap episode and therefore I would've been writing about things I have already written about in previous posts. I still enjoyed it, though. It's always nice to see the never-before-seen scenes.

I enjoyed the most recent episode of Survivor, as usual. It was packed with excitement, some good and some not-so-good. But I really feel that my friend Holly is hands down winning fan favorite vote this season. That woman has a beautiful and caring heart and it definitely showed on air.

My two favorite moments of this episode were seeing Dan sitting in the oversized chair, swinging his legs like a four year old, and Purple Kelly's quote that will be forever remembered: "There is nothing left for me to suck."

Just like the rest of you, I can't stand quitters in the game of Survivor. I feel if you can't handle the heat then stay out of the kitchen. And I know without a doubt that I would be the first one myself to cry and bitch about the cold and lack of sleep, etc. I am a huge baby and I know it and that is why I would never even bother applying for the show in the first place. These two girls quit with only 11 days remaining and that is unacceptable. There should be some sort of penalty for them.

My feelings about NaOnka have changed after watching the crap she pulled last week. I no longer like her as much as I did. She had already said she wanted to quit but yet it was okay for her to still participate in the reward?! That disgusted me. She has a grinch-sized heart.

Last Wednesday was also the first time I had the honor of attending a Survivor viewing party, thanks to my friend Holly. I had a really amazing time! I took a friend of mine with me, and although she is not the die-hard fan that I am, I think she still had a good time. Holly texted me and said we could meet her at the hair salon so we did. We walked in and said hello to her, then went and sat down and visited with Holly's mother and also a dear friend of her's, and of course Mr. Holly Hoffman. We then headed to Dublin Square where the party was held. It was a good turnout, and I had the honor of sitting at the same table as Holly, front row! When she made the comment on the show about wanting a hotdog, someone had a few brought to her! I didn't get much Holly time because she was busy with all of her admirers, but we did chat a little bit and we did get a few photos, one of which is my new Facebook photo. She also told me that when she comes back to Rapid City in January to help her son move that she and I will have a girl day at the spa. I am really looking forward to that!

Only a few more episodes to go until the big finale! It will be a great finish, I am sure!

"Chase needs to grow a pair"

Every Wednesday night as I sit down to watch Survivor, I have a pen and paper handy so that I can write down a few things I want to put in my blog. I had three different choices written down for a possible title and they were all good ones, but I couldn't help myself. I had to go with a quote from Benry (at least I think it was Benry. It is not easy paying attention to the show AND writing down everything I want to say.) It's a great quote, and it is definitely true.

And not only should Chase grow a pair, but Chase appears, to me at least, to be somewhat of an idiot. Sure, Brenda is cute, but she would've cut him loose the first chance she got. I believe he is thinking with the wrong head out there!

Let's talk about the reward challenge. The only thing I really have to say about it is this: If you put a barrel on it's side, then we the audience shouldn't hear, "Oh no, it's rolling!" Um, what exactly are you expecting it to do?!

And I officially want to go volcano-boarding. It looks amazing! I think I will add that to my bucket list. Well, I would if I had a bucket list.

I really love how Holly is playing the game. She was putting bugs in the ears of just about everyone out there about Brenda and why it is crucial to vote her out. She is doing an exceptional job out there and I couldn't be more proud of our SD girl! I can even overlook the fact that she dropped that "F" bomb.

The endurance immunity challenges have always been my favorite ones, and last night's was a doozy. It looked very difficult. I am having a hard time with the fact that Dan did better at it than at least three other people, including Holly. I am not quite sure what to say about that, except that there is a first time for everything. Jane was very impressive in that challenge. She rocked it and she is simply amazing!

My favorite part of last night's episode was at Tribal Council when Jeff asked Kelly for her 20 years of wisdom. First of all, she looked surprised that she was being asked to speak, then she became flustered and blurted out something that made no sense at all. I am really glad she gave us her deep thoughts. I am sorry, Kelly, that editing made you look foolish. But yet I am not sorry. It was funny as hell to watch!

I think the fire at camp was the last thing Libertad was expecting to have happen. They were devastated by it and lost many of their belongings.

Brenda was voted out. Was it a good thing? Probably. But I think she would have made a better winner than Dan, Kelly, or Chase. They aren't really doing anything to earn the million dollars and the title of Sole Survivor. If one of those three end up winning, I may need to stop watching Survivor.

I am undecided as to whether I will do a blog next week since the next episode is the recap one. I guess I could always write a blog on how I feel about the Russell/Rob season coming up. I definitely have some strong opinions on that!

"Dumb and dumber"

Interestingly enough, I love and admire every person who has ever been on Survivor. Every single one of them. I have watched them week after week on my favorite TV show. There are some who irritate me, some who make me yawn, and others who are amazing in my eyes and can do no wrong. But this is just what we see on television. And I am sure that what we see on TV is different than the real person in everyday life. This brings me to my discussion of Marty. Anytime I see him on Survivor, he grates on my nerves in a huge way. I don't know why, but I don't want to look at him or listen to him speak. I, for one, am glad he was voted out. But even though he irritates me on the show, I truly believe he is an amazing man in his everyday life. Would I hang out and have a beer with him? Absolutely. And how about NaOnka? She is quite the pistol! She fascinates me with her ghetto ways. But I bet she is a beautiful woman when not on television.

As always, I enjoyed the reward challenge. It was a fun one! It was an obstacle course of different activities, such as breaking through a wall of bricks. Oddly, it ended up being men against women. The ladies gave it their all but the men ended up winning.

The reward that the men were able to enjoy was zip-lining through Nicaragua. It was fun to watch them enjoying themselves. I had my fingers crossed for Dan, though. I didn't want to see the poor man fall or get mud on himself.

I was pleased with the immunity memory challenge. I know I couldn't've gotten half of those right.

Now, is it just me or is there alot of people in awe of the fact that the people this season are disgusted when someone lies? Why is this such a big deal to some people? Survivor is a television competition show. The prize is one million dollars! You may have to put up with annoying people and lies. These people are doing what they have to do for that money. I could never understand why people would complain so much about JT being annoying. "We just can't deal with an annoying person. Why is this journey towards a million dollars not easy?" Put on your big boy/girl pants and deal with the lying and irritating people.

My favorite quote of the episode came from Fabio: "It's so easy playing stupid." Playing?!

What the hell was with Marty's walk after voting at Tribal Council???? Was that his cocky "I'm not being voted out" walk? Epic fail!

The previews for next week are intriguing. Everyone seems to be looking down at the ground in horror. A friend of mine told me he thinks it is Dan, who finally kicked the bucket. I am going with that.